So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm like, not good at living.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
