Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
