He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
