ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
