dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
