Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
