I wannas sexs uuuuu
only if we run a train.
done.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
