there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
