Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
