I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
