The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
