you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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