So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
