Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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