I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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