chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
