I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
