All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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