I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
