so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
