don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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