I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
