I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
