i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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