I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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