I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Two words: nipple clamps
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