I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
