My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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