the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
