We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
