if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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