R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
