one two three fourrrrnication!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
