My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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