Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
