at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Will you blow on my dice?
I cannot find my penis.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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