And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
