I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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