Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
