when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
