she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
