There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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