No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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