i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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