UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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