We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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