i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
