what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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