well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
