she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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