No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
