i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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