There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
